My Memories

They say that time heals all wounds but all it's done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you. ~Ezbeth Wilder

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St Vincent Millay

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi

Some people say that The Holidays are when they miss lost loved ones the most, but I think our family misses Dad the most this time of year. It starts with Memorial Day, and then May 28. Then there is Fathers Day and then Dad's birthday all within a month of each other.

I just wanted to share a few memories I've had the last couple days. This one might be a little weird, but it caught me completely off guard. I had a customer come in yesterday and was looking in our parts drawer and I was standing there kind of off to the side and behind him and his hair looked SO much like my Dad's. That's one of the things I remember most about my Dad was his hair. I'm not sure why. I had to choke back the tears because I didn't want to look like a crazy lady.

The second memory came while I was watching Mr. Hollands Opus last night. The song that the clairnet player plays while Mr. Holland is teaching her is the song that my Dad played on my clairnet the night that we went and bought it together. He had never played a day in his life before and he was just messing around and played that song. He was so proud of himself. I was impatient of course and wanted to play with my new toy and hurried him along, but oh how treasured that memory is now. I don't even know what song it was. That's another thing I miss. Seth has talked about it a little in his blog, but my Dad knew everything. Ok, not everything, but man, he could hear any song, and know what it was called and who it was by. Here is another memory. At a Daddy/Daughter night for church they had a name that tune contest and he won. It actually ended up being between Don Eisenbarth and my Dad. I remember he won a HUGE Sam's Club sized jar of Laffy Taffys.

Mom keeps saying how theraputic these blogs are for her family and I haven't thought of it that way before, until now. These little snippets of memories mean so much to me because I'm so terrified of forgetting him. It breaks my heart how much I've forgotten already. Also I have issues I guess you could say because I'm still mad at the fact that I'm the youngest and got the least amount of time to make memories of him. I guess that's all for now though. Perhaps I'll update when I think of more.

ETA (edited to add) I found that song that Dad would have known. Here and Here. The second one sounds better, but the first is the original. He even shook the clairnet to make the vibratto.