Sorry it's been so long. It's just so much easier to facebook. Here is an update about what's been going on.
1- I've been working two jobs for about two months now. It's been so crazy! I love my new job, but they didn't have enough hours for me so I kept my old job too. Hopefully that will be changing soon so I can go back to having just one job. I haven't ever had a job where I looked forward to going to work this much and felt sad that my shift was over and I had to go home. It's weirding me out a little bit actually. Part of it is that the person I work with is just awesome. She keeps me laughing all the time. Love her!
2- Today we had our first John and Dawn Mills family reunion. It was SO much fun. My immediate family showed up early and we went on a five mile bike ride. It was such a fun thing for all of us to do together. I really enjoyed it. Mom has a odometer on her bike and she has gone over 300 miles on her bike this year. That is just amazing to me. Very cool!
3-At the family reunion I was drawn to the little kids, like I haven't really felt before. I was thinking about why that was today, and I've realized I think I'm ready to have kids. It's hard for me to explain, I'll try. Before my reasons to have kids have been weak i.e. -because I'm getting older, -because everyone else like Mom and Sam are getting older. But now it's almost a yearning to share the love and nurturing I feel. That sounds lame and doesn't explain it very well, but it's the best I could do.
4-I'm really scared about wanting to have kids. I have a few questions and would like to hear from you mothers out there.
--What made you want to have kids
--When did you know you were ready to have kids
--If you didn't think you were ready how did you prepare
--What happens when one person in the relationship is ready for kids and the other isn't? How do you prepare that other person?
--What is the best thing
--What is the hardest thing
--How did it affect you and your husbands relationship
--How much do you spend on diapers/formula and such
--One of my hesitations is that babies grow up to be people. People who talk back and make choices that you can't control. What makes it worth it then?
Those are just a few of the questions that run through my head
That's enough for now.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thinking?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
What made you want to have kids
Me have kids was a strong insane desire to have them.I didn't know I was ready I just went for it. And convinced Paul to let me! They do cave in after awhile :)How did I prepare, I didn't really I didn't have a clue what I was doing. But you are much older than I was, just learn all you come from your mother and sisters about what to expect with delivery and a new baby.
Just go for it, tell Martin its time to go for it and you are ready explain to him why you are ready and why it is so important for you.
The best thing and worst watching them grow, they do it so quickly and being involved with every moment of it. It effects every aspect of your relationship with your spouse, but helps you to grow immensely together in many ways.
Diapers cost a bit the first few months because you change them quite often early on. But right now Kacen my two year old only costs about 15-20 a month.
I cant say much about having grown up children. But I can say you will still love them no matter their choices. And they will always come back to you and you will get to see the your efforts from all the years with your children pay off when they are adults.
The reunion was fun! I'm sad I wasn't on time. Ok anwsers to your questions:
1. I just felt that it was time. Plus, Deanne and Hava just got pregnant and I felt like we should be too.
2. I knew we were ready about 3 years after marriage
3. Aidan was a surprise and I got prengnat with him 3 months before I wanted to start trying. Not much preparing except reading things, talking to people and buying the necessary things.
4. Austin wanted kids WAY before me. I was NOT ready so I told him that I didn't want to try till I was ready, since I was going to be the mom and doing it all anyway. So I don't know the best anwser. Maybe tell the other spouse to please pray about it. My friend all of a sudden had a feeling to have another and her husband said NO way. She was so sure about the feeling that she asked him to pray about it while she went on a trip. When he picked her up at the airport he said "You're right, we are suposed to have another now".
5. The best thing is the feeling you have when you see your child. When they smile, learn new things, always want mom.
6. The worst thing is NO SLEEP, and the babysitter issues when working. It's always evolving and is always a stress on me when needing to find people.
7. It brings us closer in ways and we love to laugh and smile at our children, but then sometimes Austin I get really frustrated cause Austin doesn't help with things and I have to beg him to change a diaper or do something else to help with the kids. I feel like I do 90% of it.
8. Get diapers at Costco/Sams. It really is so much cheaper. I think I'd spend about $40 a month??? on diapers. On formula, I breastfed for the first so much...then I got lots of samples from the pediatrician and signed up for all the coupons to be mailed to me from Similac and Enfamil. Walmart brand is pretty cheap and good stuff. You can also sign up on their site for a free sample and then get $5 off coupons. That makes it really cheap. If you qualify with WIC then you get free formula...that's worth looking in to. I bought a bunch and got free samples in advance, like before being pregnant and while pregnant. So I don't know how much it costs monthly once they are here.
8. You just love them, love them, love them. It makes it all worth it. Aidan is starting to talk back,etc and you just keep teaching the best you know how. And even though he can be a stinker - the love you have for them outweighs it all! It's hard to explain and you don't know until you're there.
I promise - it's all worth it! If it's time to have children for you, don't worry about all the what if's and stuff that comes with it. It'll come naturally. I always feel that me and Austin wouldn't have a life if it wasn't for our kids. They ARE our life now and I love it. I try to imagine still just being us with no kids and I think life wouldn't be as meaningful.
Good luck!
--What made you want to have kids?
honestly, the opportunity to see myself in them
--When did you know you were ready to have kids?
I still don't think I'm ready, and I have 2!!! lol
--If you didn't think you were ready how did you prepare
I did a lot of soul searching, and had a lot of talks with Dave about it. In the end, we knew that giving her up was not the option!
--What happens when one person in the relationship is ready for kids and the other isn't? How do you prepare that other person?
You can't prepare them. You talk, you discuss, you get it all out in the open, and eventually, hopefully, they feel the same way
--What is the best thing?
The love a child gives you cannot beat anything else
--What is the hardest thing?
Tantrums
--How did it affect you and your husbands relationship
It's hard. It's a delicate balance, but honestly you have to give the other time for themselves as well. And more time together, WITHOUT the kids.
--How much do you spend on diapers/formula and such
Diapers...ugh. I spend about $50 per month. I nursed my second, and formula was partly paid for with WIC for my first....but formula is cheaper by the ounce when bought in the big $25 cans. I promise. Sign up when you get preggers on their websites and they mail you coupons
--One of my hesitations is that babies grow up to be people. People who talk back and make choices that you can't control. What makes it worth it then?
Memories. And knowing that we all have to go through life one way or another, and the memories are what get us through the hard days. You really can't think about this one too much or you'd never have kids. You have to have the expectation that they will be ok in the end. :)
We should go to lunch and talk about it. :)
k well i typed this up and then it deleted it but anyway to answer some of your questions.... I never really knew I was ready to have kids there are still some days I wonder if I am lol but I love my kids to death. Sure they are a pain in the butt but ya just have to realize they are kids and nothing in life is easy. When I was pregnant it brought Tyson and I alot closer. Having him go to doc appotinments and see the little baby that we created together and having him feel the baby kick and help me around the house etc. We grew a lot closer. Afte the baby it was hard for a little while there were some nights i wasnt sure how I would make it trhough but thats part of having kids I dont think anyone could have a PERFECT kid. You and your partner can help each other out. As far as being ready, I think that once you decide you want and find out you are pregnant your motherly instinct kicks in and you just naturally know what to do and how to do things. I have a book you can borrow if you want called soemthing like things you should about being pregnant. It has everything about being preganant to after baby is born. its good. I read a lot of books when I was prgangnt about delivering and breastfeeding etc. I breastfed both my boys till they were 1 so I dont really know how much formula is but I know nursing is cheap. Some people think you are 'tied' down when it comes to feeding time but I like the bonding time you have with baby, plus then you can use the excuse im nursing can you please help me out and start dinner or do dishes etc. lol my hubby helped out a lot cuz of that. Anyways I hope this helps ya a little. Good luck, you will be a great mommmy!!
Post a Comment