--I'm now only working one job, they were able to work me full time. So that's good, but up til now I feel like I've been putting in the same hours not having any extra time. I have the next couple days off, and I'm kind of excited, but since I have gotten used to working so much I don't know what to do with so much time to myself.
--I've been feeling the craft bug lately so maybe I'll go to the fabric store. I've been looking at patterns for pajamas and a hooded sweatshirt for Abbi. It sounds fun but maybe a bit complicated for my skill level. We'll see.
--Still no conclusion to the baby issue. Still going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Have I mentioned before I hate making decisions?
--I'm thinking about cutting my hair super short. Usually about once or twice a year I want a big change, something different, that time of year is now.
--Having friends is hard. Maybe that's why I'm not a good friend. I feel so awkward around most people and I'm not sure why. I'd rather stay home with Abbi. Maybe its my low self esteem or general social awkward-ness? It's easy to hang out with Martin and his friends, cause they are guys and easy going. I'm just typing as I'm thinking and it's not very clear, sorry.
--Blogging is depressing. I'm done for tonight.
Monday, September 21, 2009
2 am ramblings
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4 comments:
hmmm... lol bout the friend thingy I think its kinda funny once I got married I find myself hanging out with Tyson and his friends. Its a lot easier and I get along with them and feel fine in front of them... werid anyways ya so I know how ya feel.
I love your 2am ramblings. Sometimes I just need to spit out what is on my brain. That is awesome you only have to work one job now. Working two can totally suck. How is Martin's job going? Where does he work now?
Hey Staci! I'm just re-entering BlogLand and your previous post jumped out at me. So I thought I'd throw in my two cents. :)
--What made you want to have kids
I've felt like I was meant to be a Mommy my whole life
--When did you know you were ready to have kids
When the thought of devoting most of my time, resources, and self to others didn't sound so impossible
--If you didn't think you were ready how did you prepare
I worked at a daycare center. Nothing teaches you tolerance like caring for someone else's kids all day. And if you can still feel love for them after twelve hours of being pooped on, peed on, screamed at, and possibly kicked... well, I'd say you have enough love in reserve for your own kids. ;)
--What happens when one person in the relationship is ready for kids and the other isn't? How do you prepare that other person?
Time. I've got to tell you that I would not be half the Mom I am without Brian. He is our family's rock and his dedication is the key to our success. Had he not been ready for our girls, we would be floundering. I wanted to start having babies almost from the getgo. We were married almost 3 years when Kellie was born and I think it was the perfect time for us. I'm not a very patient woman... But I'm glad we held out. I think if you enter into parenthood with an unwilling or disinterested partner, you'll find yourself carrying more than your fair share.
--What is the best thing
Unprompted vows of love. ("I love you Mommy" and a sweet sloppy kiss)
--What is the hardest thing
Having patience while being sleep-deprived.
--How did it affect you and your husbands relationship
Our first year of parenting was much MUCH harder than our first year of marriage. I am so grateful we were friends with such amazing people. Their love and ability to show us we had communication problems without damaging our friendship was a lifesaver. We went through counseling when Kellie was about 14 months old. We had grown so far apart because Kellie was such a high needs baby. We were too busy meeting her needs - we forgot our own.
--How much do you spend on diapers/formula and such
I breastfed Kellie and am breastfeeding Delia. I love Sheryl's response about getting out of a few household chores because you're busy feeding the baby. ;) Plus, with the money you save by breastfeeding, you could use to buy a really nice pump if you need to go back to work. Go to KellyMom.com for all the amazing benefits of breastfeeding. (Though I'm sure you've heard it all)
--One of my hesitations is that babies grow up to be people. People who talk back and make choices that you can't control. What makes it worth it then?
Oh golly. I know what you mean. I think you've just got to get used to the idea that it will be their life - their choices - their consequences. Think of Heavenly Father's plan. I'll bet he's bummed out about a lot of the choices I've made in my life. But I never feel like his love has lessened.
Good luck with this heavy decision. :)
Come hang out with us! Cousins make good friends - you don't have to be awkward. Martin even told me that he wants to double...we sersioulsy should.
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